Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
