Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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