remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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