So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize