I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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