Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Vodka?
Forever.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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