she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
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