So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
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Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
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I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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