My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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