Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
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