As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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