the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize