very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
