He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I need a burrito and a hug.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
