I bet he comes in French.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Randomize
