you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
