I think i sorta joined a cult last night
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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