I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Just pee around me
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
