if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize