I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Randomize
