i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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