dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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