Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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