I just cut my nipple shaving
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
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We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
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If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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