No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
