Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
We don't watch enough power rangers
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Randomize
