I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
