I just cut my nipple shaving
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
