he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize