Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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