Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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