NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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