I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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