i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
