the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
