Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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