he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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