My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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