wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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