i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
we're so committed to being not committed
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Randomize
