Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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