I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
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I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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