So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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