i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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