Your tits are I can't wait for
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
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