scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
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