Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(802): View more from Vermont

Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.

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17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
Read it at the TFLN blog
(240): View more from Maryland

Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.

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(607): View more from New York

I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.

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