matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?