Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.