You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
He better not be in your backpack
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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