You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp