come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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