gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
