I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
