I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize