just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
