Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
