she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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