when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize