So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
