cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
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