Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
MIDGETS
????
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
