I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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