last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
