nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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