You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
